How many times a year can you say you look in the mirror and are completely happy with the reflection looking back at you?
Not all too many I bet?
Truth be told, no one is EVER 100% happy with what they see in the mirror. Every single person can pick at something they would like to change or point out how they would prefer something to look.
You can stand and pull at your hips, you can wobble your thighs, you can suck in your stomach, you can wish your chest was a little fuller/bigger (guys I’m talking to you too), you can wish your quads would grow and stand out but ultimately unless you are willing to focus on YOURSELF and yourself only and put in the effort to change…then your mentality when you look in the mirror never will.
It’s the same when you step on the scales…your goal could have been to lose weight, you could have lost 5lbs…but you will want more. You will wish it was 6. As humans we are never fully happy.
Why though you ask?
Simply because the majority of the time we are comparing to something or someone else.
There is a whole world of media around us in the form of celebrities and influencers alongside the fitness industry highlighting other people’s success.
We also have friends, acquaintances, people around us that we don’t really even know. We see what goes on in many people’s day to day lives…AND WE COMPARE.
‘I wish my waist was smaller like hers!’.
‘I wish my legs and bum were as toned and as peachy as hers are!’.
‘I hate my arms, I wish they didn’t jiggle at the back, hers don’t’.
And It’s not always against body type, it doesn’t just stop there…
‘My friend lost 8lbs on her programme in two weeks, I only lost 2, what am I doing wrong?!’.
‘I’ve lost 6.5lbs in 3 weeks…I’m a bit deflated actually, I wanted it to be more!’.
And it STILL doesn’t stop there…
‘He can bench 100kg, why can’t I do that?!’.
‘His arms are massive! Why aren’t my arms like that?!’.
‘I wish I looked like that girl on that Instagram post, she’s perfect!’.
For you to be happy and content in yourself and your own progress then comparison and competing with others has to stop.
I can speak from personal experience, there is ALWAYS something like I said that we won’t be happy with, but if we constantly think about those things then we never get to notice the things we do love. We never appreciate our own progress as it takes place.
For years and years I’ve flicked through Instagram, I’ve scrolled through Facebook, Ive zoomed in on other girls bodies, I’ve seen girls in the gym…and I’ve compared myself to them. I’ve stood in the mirror and wished my boobs were smaller, I wished I didn’t have the little pocket of fat on my left hip that I’ve always had, I’ve wished my bum was firmer and that my legs looked stronger. I’ve pulled myself apart and even through progress that I have made I have still not been happy.
I’ve had clients let the scale weight literally ruin their week, tip them over the edge and cause them to have a ‘fuck it I give up day’. I’ve had clients show me photos of unrealistic/unhealthy goals because the people in the photos they show me have completely different body shapes and physical structure than they do.
I’ve had girls stand on the scales and be upset that they only lost 6lbs in two weeks when their friend had lost more.
How are you EVER going to be happy and content, fully focused on yourself and able to progress on your own journey if you are more focused on someone else’s?!
You aren’t. Ask yourself honestly, are you guilty of this. The majority will be saying yes.
There is no comparison or competition when you are manifesting your own journey, when you are striving to be better than you were yesterday and when you are appreciating the point t you are at right now.
‘I love my hips, I’ve worked hard for these hips, these hips have homed children, I’m doing alright!’
‘My waist is actually smaller than it was last time I measured it…because I’ve worked bloody hard to get here! I look good!’.
‘Oh my god I’ve lost 6lbs! 6lbs! That’s amazing, my hard work is paying off! I’m gonna keep going now, this is going to be my motivation to progress even further!’.
‘He can bench 100kg, I’m gonna work on myself, ask for help if need it and work my way up to lift that for me because I know with my own hard work I will be able to too! I’ll feel really proud when I finally do!’
‘His arms are massive, good for you man! What an inspiration!’. (The negative thoughts about yourself needn’t arise).
This is the shit we should be saying! ❤️
Last week I shoulder pressed 10kg dumbbells each side for the first time in over two years! That used to be my top set weight once upon a time. For two years I have seen girls and guys in the gym lift weight that I couldn’t…but I haven’t put myself down or given up because I couldn’t do it. I’ve worked my way back up. It went from 2.5kg, to 5kg, 5kg to 7.5kg and 7.5kg to 10kg. It’s taken a long bloody time but I got there.
Do I feel better because I pushed myself to lift the same as others….no….I feel better because I can now lift what I, ME, MYSELF used to lift. I compared myself to myself, no one else.
Two years ago I was 54kg and lean. Then for two years I sat a lot heavier and a lot less lean. Did I compare myself to others? Yes. Did I go through a transformation to be the same or better than them? No! I overhauled my body to regain my own confidence and feel better about myself. For me. And that was the sole reason I was able to stay 100% focused on the process. I was competing with myself and no one else. Now I sit a little lighter than before and I’m hella leaner than I was tho time two years ago. I was MY OWN FOCUS! MY OWN COMPETITION. I MADE THIS HAPPEN FOR ME!
In the nicest way possible…focus on your own shit. Focus on you. Bring your own self happiness to the table. It’s honestly the secret to success. If something means so so much to you then you will give it absolutely everything your heart has. It will be your priority and your sole focus and nothing will stand in your way.
Turn negatives into a positive. Be proud of you! And keep pushing to be better than you were yesterday, the day before that and the day before that too. You know…the happiest people I know are always evaluating and improving themselves.
Next time you look in the mirror…just know that it’s you vs you. No one else ❤️.