The reason we struggle with insecurities is because we often compare our real life with someone else’s highlights.
People only post what they want you to see.
Social media is a funny old place, it can be a place of happiness and it can also be a place of sadness. It can be a place of positivity but also a place of negativity. It can be a grid of real life posts from real people and it can also be a place where real life people only post their ‘highlights’…you know, the better bits of their life that they only want you to see.
Let’s be very honest with ourselves here…we have all looked at social media and thought ‘Oh wow, I want that!’. This phrase could have been used in the context of wanting the same kind of car that someone has bought, a bigger house than you already have, the newest designer handbag or a fitness models (male and female alike) physique.
Let’s also be honest in the fact that we have all looked at social media at least once and felt insecure or inferior about the posts staring back at us. We’ve felt like we aren’t enough or we aren’t worthy because of how a post has made you feel.
𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧…𝐰𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞…𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋!
This is of course a fitness page so my posts are always going to be based around that subject but this post can be applicable to anything that you see on social media so bare that in mind.
I’m going to use Instagram for example here…it’s a world full of glamour, wash board abs, peachy bum cheeks and thick thighs. Leggings up the butt crack, boobs out and not a bloody hair out of place.
Even the males are giving it a bloody good go! Training with their tops off and the short shorts are out in full force…along with the baby oil 🤪. We see fitness models and influencers posting ‘perfection’ year round. AND THATS FINE!! But is this the everyday? No it’s not.
Instagram can trick you into thinking that if your leggings show your sweat patches after a workout then you should be embarrassed because you aren’t looking pristine during your workout or upon leaving the gym.
Influencers rock up with their straightened hair and teeny tiny crop top to do a sponsored post, they advertise a product with a promo code and then you are left pondering on why you don’t have a physique like theirs or you sit wishing you did. You get suckered into thinking that product will have you look like them also..and so you buy it. Chasing what that influencer has.
There’s the guy with the shiny chest and abs you could crack your breakfast eggs on, he’s got massive quads and biceps bigger than my head doing partner workouts with his girlfriend in the living room, using her as a barbell. Why isn’t my relationship like this and why don’t I have arms like him?!
Can you see how toxic it can become to compare yourself to these posts? You’re not focusing on what YOU already have. You are wishing you had what someone is wanting you to see. And this is what you don’t see…👇🏼.
The girl that hasn’t got any sweat patches has probably only done a few reps for the video that she is posting to show you.
The pristine influencer that is selling you bcaa has probably got a whole load of perfect looking photos in her camera roll to use. She wouldn’t dream of advertising it after she’s eaten a big breakfast with her bed time bun in and toothpaste still around her mouth would she.
The guy working out at home with his girlfriend and his massive biceps wouldn’t lift his girlfriend on a bench press inside the gym would he? That’s just bloody stupid…it’s just for social media! For likes, and for fun.
𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝.
I have been guilty (and I still sometimes am) of seeing social media and putting myself down. I’ve seen girls with perfect looking boobs when I’m not a massive fan of my own. I’ve looked at naturally peachy bum cheeks when I have to work damn hard to keep mine in shape.
I’ve wanted the wash board abs on an influencers grid when mine have gone into hiding at 11 o clock after my sodding breakfast.
I’ve wanted and wished for what I thought I didn’t have. I’ve also now stopped scrolling through social media as often as I used to 👀.
On reflection if I had all of the above then I wouldn’t be me and I wouldn’t have what makes me an individual. I wouldn’t be the person that my friends and family love me for. I would never be proud and never satisfied.
Those of you who know me in person and follow me on social media will have 100% seen my unglamorous sweat patches, seen my ponytail hanging out, seen the sweat and fake tan run down my bloody neck during a workout, seen my water spilled down the front of my top and seen me walk around and out of the gym like a troll….do I care? No, I honestly don’t.
Because it’s real!! That’s me, day to day. Inside the gym, working on myself.
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥. 𝐈𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐭 𝐲𝐞𝐬, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐝. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐝, 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐝! 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐬 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐞.
Will I post it again? Yes I will. Do I look like that now. Not 100% no, I’m not too far off but I’m not exactly the same. Do I look like that year round? No of course I bloody don’t. I PREPPED for this. But never the less it will stay in my camera roll and I’m proud to use it.
Will I also post my bum crack sweat again? Yea I will, because it’s normal. And I’m not bothered about showing it.
And we need more NORMAL!
If I posted professional ‘in shape’ photos year round then I’d be a bit of a hypocrite and a bit of a fraud. And people that see me everyday know that I don’t always look that way anyway.
So why should we think social media is any different? Because it isn’t.
If you are sweating in the gym, then you’re working damn hard, if you’re a little bloated then so what, it’s normal, wear the tight leggings that you love. If you have cellulite who cares?! Put your shorts on anyway, the girl in the photo probably airbrushed hers out.
Nothing can make you feel inferior without your consent. Not another human being, not an influencer, not a sponsored post, not social media. You are in control of how you feel. Let that sink in.
𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐃𝐍𝐀 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐘𝐎𝐔. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭. 𝐎𝐰𝐧 𝐢𝐭. 𝐁𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧. 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 ☺️. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐨 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐋𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲.