Does your social circle support your goals?
As much as people refuse to believe it, your circle does have an influence and an impact on your choices.
‘Oh just have the bloody cake, it won’t hurt, you only live once!’.
Are these words of encouragement, words of support or words from someone who doesn’t really understand/appreciate what you are trying to achieve?
We all have a social circle or a group of friends/friend that we engage with regularly. I’m sure most of you have sat and had a Sunday lunch with family at one time or another.
I also bet most of you reading this have passed a comment or received comments from one of these said friend or family members about weight loss, fat loss, how often you do or don’t go to the gym, what your physique goal may be or just generally not really understanding why you do what you do.
Only YOU personally know why you want to hit your physical goals. It’s personal to you, you value the outcome along with the process and you are dedicated enough to make it happen by putting in the effort needed. But you get comments, you get negativity, you get jealousy. And from the people that are suppose to have your back?!
If you’ve encountered this…read on.
𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐔𝐄𝐒 𝐚 𝐠𝐨𝐚𝐥. 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐔𝐄𝐒 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬. 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲/𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐞.
So understandably not everyone will ‘get it’. This may touch some nerves but ultimately it’s true. HEALTH is WEALTH.
I remember during my last programme when I was eating my Turkey mince yet again, having the comment of ‘Do you have to eat that for most meals, it looks well boring?’. I explained ‘Yes, but it’s not boring to me because I actually really enjoy it’. To which the reply was ‘I really couldn’t be bothered, I’d rather have a KFC!’.
Now this fine, because not everybody is the same, the world would be a very boring place if we were. And the Colonel would be out of business. But I wouldn’t prefer a KFC, I would prefer my Turkey mince knowing that it is going to fuel me in the way I need it to, to look the way I want to look. I didn’t need that comment.
I also had the comment upon eating an orange in a social environment in front of others ‘Oooo bloody hell, you treating yourself to an orange today!’. It’s sarcastic, and it’s also ignorant. An orange isn’t a treat, it’s health. I wouldn’t pass comment if someone was eating a doughnut because that’s simply their choice.
Those that don’t have the same goal DON’T HAVE THE SAME VALUES.
A few years ago I went to my friends baby shower and took my own prepped meal. Not because I wanted to be set apart from everyone, not because I didn’t want to enjoy the cakes (I did 😋), but because at that particular moment in time I knew that afternoon tea wasn’t going to get me physically to where I wanted to be.
And do you know what….not one single person said a thing. I cracked on with my salad and they cracked on with their cucumber sandwiches and carrot cake. Because they GOT IT. They saw how I was working on ME.
Not everyone in your social circle will be supportive. Not everyone will understand or make the effort to understand. And that’s ok. As long as you don’t let it deter you from pursuing what it is you set out to do.
If someone tells you ‘Oh just eat the bloody cake, you only live once!’…they are right…you do only live once, but you can do it the way you want to. Don’t cave.
Both myself and Kev have had clients who have been worried about sticking to plan in social situations because they were worried about what others may think if they say no to something, if they take their own food or if they don’t drink alcohol because it doesn’t fit their goals.
Our answer is always ‘Remember why you are doing this and what it means to you to progress’. The situation then becomes a lot easier and a lot clearer.
The gym is another one that not everyone understands…….
‘Oh you spend too long in the gym, you’re always bloody there!’.
And?! Your point would be?
‘You’re obsessed with how you look!’.
No….I CARE about how I look.
There is a difference between vanity and values.
Obsessed is deemed unhealthy and to a certain extent I can agree that it is. However, being mindful and having the self respect to look after the body that you are given is not.
It’s called SELF CARE.
You only get one shot at this body. It deserves to be taken care of.
Again…not everybody gets this.
What you have to remember is that those who care and those that support you are the ones that will cheer for you when you get to where you want to be. Those that question it or throw negativity/shade will stay silent.
I’m not telling you to go and dump the friends that don’t support you (although I have done this in the past and everything then becomes a little clearer), I’m not telling you to divorce your partner if they eat cake in front of you whilst on plan (I’ve just eaten a cookie in front of Kev like Kev ate wotsits in front of me!) but what I am saying is JUST DO YOU irregardless of what people say/think. Your VALUE is your VALUE. No one else’s.
If you are reading this blog and have been thinking about starting your fitness journey or working on you, if you’ve tried and failed, or if someone/something is holding you back just remember that there is only one person that can do anything about it. YOU. Not opinions or actions of anyone else. YOU. Your opinions and actions are the only ones that matter 😊.